Lost limbs, too much blood and conveniently placed chainsaw petrol

Evil Dead

Directed by: Fede Alvarez
Produced by: Sam Raimi (original director and producer)
Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci

As deadlines approach and we swiftly move into exam season the best way to cool off some revision steam is to go and watch this years over the top gore film. Much to my disgust, the Saw...collection...have gone rapidly downhill and the hostel films are no-where to be seen. Therefore, I find myself turning to Sam Raimi's remake of his 1980's failure, 'Evil Dead'.
   Make no mistake, this film is so full of blood and gore you'll find yourself feeling not only sick but thinking about what's in your oversized cinema drink...not just flat cola. But what is this whole fiasco about?! What makes this devil's remake so different from the rest?! To be honest, nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's the typical scene, in the woods...abandoned cabin...five friends...one girl trying to give up her coke addiction...she then gets raped by a tree. WAIT. Raped. By. A. Tree? Yes. It just gets worse from there.
  Here's a plot summary with no spoilers (if you have watched the trailer). The nerdy guy finds this bizarre looking book in a cat carcass filled basement and his crazy nurse girlfriend tells him not to meddle with it...of course he does. A strange evil entity arises from the dead trying to take five souls before the earth rains blood and the devil will rise again, blah blah blah. What's weird is this "devil" doesn't just possess one person at a time, somehow once it has taken someones soul it will turn that person into a weird zombie thing.
Can I just say, second hand prop alert... it looks as though the "devil's possession eyes" are the same contacts from the late Twlight Saga series...

I have to give it to Alvarez, the screenplay for this film is particularly amusing, conversation is pretty typical but once the "devil entity" gets it's say then things turn from bad to worse, some of my favourite quotes are:

"I can smell your filthy soul"

"Why don't you come down here and let me suck your cock, pretty boy!" 

"Where do you think you're going, you junkie whore?"

and my person favourite..."You are all going to die tonight." 

  There are more than a few "back alley surgeries" in this film, so many limbs and body parts are severed or cut in half, it makes one wonder how any of them survived, it didn't even look like there were bones in the limbs, just pure muscle. Like most horror films, everything is extremely conveniently placed, what you need is right where you want it when you want it, or the opposite. I guess, you don't really have a lot of time to look around for the things you need when the devil is after your soul and to drag you back to hell with it, right? I never really did understand the final goal of the devil entity...once it has taken it's five souls and risen back to reality...then what? It takes a stroll around the town while everyone else is drowning in the torrential blood rain?

Here's the main five things you need to know about Evil Dead:
1) No story adaption
2) Average acting
3) So much watered down blood, you'll have a hard time NOT thinking about tomato juice.
4) Much to my surprise... NO sex or nudity (thank the lord and all heavens above)
5) Last but not least, an extremely disappointing ending with no twists or surprises (sorry).

Do I recommend this film? Unless you love gore as much as me and my weird friends, probably not. What I would recommend for this film if you do see it...go watch it on an empty stomach, there were parts that even I had a little mini sick at.

There is one good thing that came from 'Evil Dead', Sam Raimi can now die a happy man knowing he created the film he always wanted. Well done Sammy.

Why modern life really is rubbish. (Part one)

Working in a shop within a shopping center (or shopping mall for my international readers) having just a shutter and windows everywhere has it advantages and it's disadvantages. Now, I don't mean to turn this blog into a trashy rant site but some things need to be said. There are some things I feel the need to share, to keep myself sane and to make sure this isn't just me getting old.
    Today, as I find myself daydreaming about another season of Gossip Girl (guilty pleasures have to be revealed at some point, right?!), I watch the world walk, talk, run and even stumble by (corny but true, time doesn't seem to move in that place). I see a group of four or five, fourteen/fifteen year old girls wearing ankle swinger jeans, crop tops and Nike New Balance trainers; (nearly) every Tumblr girls' dream. As they walk past, so do two boys who look about twenty.One of the GIRLS then feels that it is appropriate to shout "OI OI, SEXY" to one of the boys. Much to no-one's surprise the boys turned around looking hopeful but a look of horror overcomes their faces. Where they thought they would turn back and see a girl their age trying to be funny, instead they see a girl that is five, maybe even six years younger than then humiliating them in public.
   They weren't the only ones who had only horror in their eyes, I did too! (Here's me getting all feminist and sentimental) I got so frustrated because Women really fought for their rights not to be treated like animals on or off the streets. That's all being poured down the drain; thanks Millicent Fawcett, it seems all your hard work is going to waste. I don't know if it was a dare or if it was underage drinking, I have no idea what made this girl think it was acceptable to shout at this boy that was SIX YEARS OLDER THAN HER. I'm sure that if the tables were turned and he had shouted that at her she would have kicked up a mighty fuss and he would be facing Sexual Harassment and a possible pedophilia court date.

I guess I just need to come out of Jane Austen's world and face "modern society".

10 reasons why gig crowds are more atrociously annoying than high school canteens.

After going to see Theme Park at Heaven on Thursday night (14th March), it has come to my attention just how annoying gig crowds are. No doubt I have been in a few of these groups myself over the past couple of years but, it has taken me this long to work out the social groups. For this reason alone, I am willing to share with you my findings.


1) Horny Couples

This is my top pet peeve (I have quite a few). Why people go to gigs just to get off is beyond me. Firstly, they always arrive late and think it's okay to push in front of everyone who has had to endure the (usually) awful support bands. Not only that, once they are right in front of your face they start to suck each others faces, grind up against each other, have mild foreplay and my personal favourite that I witnessed Thursday night...giving each other intimate massages. WHY?! Surely you can't be enjoying the band as much as you're enjoying each others company and it's just so embarrassing for everyone else. If I wanted to watch horny couples I would hang around the college hallways at lunch time. Cut it out. 


2) Die hard fans

These aren't so much annoying but sweet in a way...until they start getting rude and over the top. I'm talking about the people that get to the gig six (or more) hours early just to bag a spot at the barrier. I mean, it's understandable that you want to be at the front for your favourite band, right? The thing I hate about them is when they start screaming at the band, usually declaring their love for a certain member. That's a bit embarrassing isn't it. Stereotypically, die hard fans are thirteen year old girls looking to "find themselves". You won't find anything by screaming how much you love someone who is usually ten or more years older than you, love. The worst thing about die hard fans is crying when they meet the band, sometimes I think, "bless you". Most of the time I think "just man up, they're only human." 


3) Over-the-top drunks

If you go to a gig to get absolutely plastered then I'm sorry but, you really need to re-asses your choices. Don't get me wrong, I love a drink as much as the next nineteen year old but think about it this way. On average you pay around £20 to get into a gig, the drink prices are ridiculously extortionate (£4.95 for a can of rekorderlig? Really?), so you end up spending around £50 on drinks, only to wake up not remembering a thing about the band you saw and an empty pocket. I don't see the point, if you're looking to pick up a sweaty partner for the evening, think about this next time...you don't look sexy, you look sweaty and as if you're about to barf on the crowd any second.


4) Fake lyric belters

Lets not pretend that we don't all fit into this category...you're at a gig purely for your friend, you know a couple of their songs...when they play the only song you know you, get really into it and scream-sing what you think are the lyrics, suddenly everyone is looking around at you in such distaste like you've walked on to a football pitch with a rugby ball... of course you've been belting the wrong lyrics and for a moment there's awkwardness, then just plain hilarity. It's fine when it happens in one or two songs but when someone is doing it through the whole gig, I just want to turnaround and give them a lyric sheet or just tell them to go home. Here's a tip...learn the lyrics to at least one song properly and just bounce around to the rest.


5) Avid Moshers

Avid Moshers are a close second on my pet peeve list. On what planet is pushing everyone, punching and kicking people and running around in circles fun? Seriously. I really, really don't understand the point of them at all, it's not appreciating the music; it's just running riot and ruining everyone else's night for no reason at all. I call these Moshers avid because somehow they manage to mosh to EVERYTHING whether that be Bullet For My Valentine, Tame Impala or The Maccabees, they always manage to "MAKE A CIRCLE". 


6) Awkward Dates

I feel sorry for these girls (or guys) who get dragged to gigs on awkward dates. It doesn't happen so often now because gig tickets have got more expensive and a buffet is an acceptable date...apparently. The date usually has no idea who the band are and to the dater, well, they're having the time of their life. Little do these daters know, they'll be going home alone that night with nothing but minor post gig depression and a fake 'call me' mobile number.

7) The 'I don't care about the band, I'm just here to cause trouble' types.

These guys, for me, are a mix of over-the-top drunks and avid Moshers, they are usually the ones who find it hilarious to start pushing everyone. They are the ones that hit on the girl/boy in the horny couple, incidentally killing their bond between the couples and start fights. However, because these guys are drunk and don't care they just walk away and start something somewhere else until they've made their way though the crowd, get bored and eventually leave. What a waste of a ticket. The worst bit is, these guys usually come in massive groups, there's just no escape!

8) The 'I've listened to the band for years, they sold out' types

This is too self-explanatory for me to have a rant about.

9) Competitive Photographers

There's nothing more hilarious than watching about ten photographers run around at the bottom of the stage trying to follow the band, trying to get the best shots they can when ultimately all of them look the same! Sorry budding photographers, the photos do look amazing, just all the same, it's like listening to a Nickelback album when looking through all of the photos from the gig. The best part is when the security tell them that they have to leave and none of them are ready, they are still trying to get that last precious shot. It's like trying to get a child out of a ball pit.

10) High heels

I don't care who you are. I don't care how rich you are. I don't care who you're with. If you are going to a standing gig, there is absolutely no reason for high heels. Not under any circumstances. It's not only stupid for yourself, it's also really unfair on everyone else because when you stand on our converse covered toes, it hurts, a lot. There's a time and a place for heels and a gig is certainly not one of those places. 

There are probably a million of other reasons, these are the ones I can think of for now. It's mostly just been a rant for me but, categorise yourself, go against me, whatever you want to do. At the end of the day, everyone recognises these people at gigs. We're all thinking it! 

Sorry it's been a while, not much has been happening. I do however, have quite a few reviews to write. I'm hoping to write a review of a couple more films and some albums, I won't ruin the surprise though (that's the best part!). Last week, I was told that my review for Ed Wood (posted previously here, just below) was named one of the "Reviews of the week" on the film club website. Although, it is only a small community and most reviews are written by children's parents, my review was still chosen out of over 6,000 reviews. I guess that's something to be proud of, right?! It's not massive, but it's something.

This week at Filmclub I was given a special birthday treat by my tutor, I go to choose the film we watched, I chose the phenomenal Moonrise Kingdom - Wes Anderson, as most of you know Wes Anderson is my favourite director; usually I wouldn't write a review of a film by my favourite director but I'll give it a go!

Moonrise Kingdom
Directed by - Wes Anderson
Release date - 2012
Starring - Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward, Bruce Willis, Bill Murray and Edward Norton

As an avid follower of Wes Anderson's work, there are a few things to look for when watching his films: 1) Symmetry in shots (check), 2) Overhead shots (check) 3) A beautiful score (check), within the first fifteen minutes the three major boxes are ticked. Other similarities to look for in Anderson films are Swish Pans, Wide-Angled shots, flawed, relatable characters and feel-good realism. Check, check, check and check. Okay, we've established that we're watching a Wes Anderson film here, but what's this fairy-tale like film about?
   Suzy Bishop (Kara Hayward) and Sam Shakusky (Jared Gilman) are a pair of loved up, EXTREMELY underage runaways, fleeing their town in New England to embrace each others new found love. Coincidentally, this sends the town into a frenzied search party (understandable enough). Sound like every other romance film out there? Wrong, although you may be getting the impression this is a very weird, uncomfortable film to watch (two children, in love?!) it is also very beautiful in many ways, not to mention mildly hilarious. Wes Anderson is known for making his films to be very awkward, leaving massively cringey moments last for what seems to be forever, until they get funny...or cute. This isn't the sort of romance film where everything is perfect, the characters, the setting, the plot are all perfect. This film is relatable and honest. The honest part is either shocking you or you don't believe it...when I was twelve, all I could think about is how much I loved all of these boys. I felt exactly the same way Suzy did, I wish these boys were as honest as Sam!
    Not quite sold on the main plot? There's more than what meets the eye here. When we finally finish the beautifully rehearsed continuous beginning shot, we are faced with what I can only gather to be a narrator of some sort, introducing us to the island and the year. He also explains about the storm that is coming to the island, one that will go down in history. The storm becomes the underlying plot within the film and in the end brings the film to the dramatic climax, it could symbolize Suzy's and Sam's rebellion, how it escalates through the film and finally comes to an end, when the storm is at it's peak (no more spoilers, promise!).
   I always talk about colour grading, how usually it's perfect. Again, here it is perfect. All Wes Anderson films have a "theme/scheme" of colours. 'Fantastic Mr Fox' for example, is oranges and browns, 'Rushmore' is beige and darker shades of primary colours, 'Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou' is blues, yellows and reds. 'Moonrise Kingdom' is yellow, blue and pink (almost the same as Life Aquatic). Anderson is obsessed with primary colours, much like most of his characters are obsessed with something! Everything within the film is yellow, the fields, the telephones, shirts, dress patterns, even walls in some cases. As the film progresses, as the storm brews, the colour scheme turns darker, bluer until the storm is at its peak everything is blue. It's almost as if there is a blue filter/gel over the whole edit. The yellow, in my opinion, gives off the feeling of content and happiness. As the film turns darker and colder, so does the colour scheme. However, unlike most films it's not subtle, it's bold and in your face. When Sam and Suzy are sharing intimate moments, the scene seems increasingly pink, almost like they are "looking through rose coloured glasses/la vie en rose" (more on French symbolism later!).
   Typically, everything has a meaning in Wes Anderson films, including costumes. In 'Moonrise Kingdom' he focuses on Suzy's costumes, although dresses appear exactly the same, shift, sixties, tailored and contrasted collars. The dress changes colour near the end of the film. In the beginning, her dress is a pale red/orange colour, this symbolizes her depression (or "de-pression" to keep up with the quoting of the film). At a point in the film, towards the end, she is wearing a yellow dress of the same style. This isn't an accident, this isn't to keep up with the colour scheme, Wes Anderson is all about the tiny details. She wears a yellow dress, yes, to match the colour scheme; but as I was saying earlier, yellow symbolizes content. Suzy changes into a yellow dress because she finally feels content with her life, with Sam. She feels as if everything is finally in it's right place and therefore doesn't wear the colours that symbolize anger and depression.
   There is one more thing about 'Moonrise Kingdom' that I'd like to bring up (then I'll stop analyzing every detail about it, promise!)...it is heavily influenced by New Wave French Film, for example Jean-luc Godard's 'Pierrot Le Fou'. It breaks the fourth wall, the invisible wall between audience and character by the camera looking directly into the camera and talking into it. Not at the audience directly but at another character, by doing this we (the audience) instantly feel part of the film, more involved. Therefore keeping us more on the edge of our seats. New Wave French Films are also prestige for their jump cuts, Wes Anderson has taken it upon himself to incorporate those jump cuts into 'Moonrise Kingdom' and not subtly. The last thing that has influenced Anderson is the use of a character that appears once or twice and then disappears for the rest of the film, the audience don't know who he/she is and sometimes don't even know their name. This is where our trusty "narrator" (remember, the guy that gives us a tour of the island?) comes in!
   Overall, I would give 'Moonrise Kingdom' five out of five stars. To me, it's perfect. The acting is superb, the plot is inspiring, unique and realistic and the style of the film is flawless. It's the imperfections within the film that make it so perfect. If you haven't seen this one yet, you really have no idea what you're missing.

"I love you, but you don't know what you're talking about."

 

At college, our tutor and us students (so cheesy) have started a film club. It's not as nerdy as you think! We recommend super cool films of all ages and all languages and every Monday after lessons we sit and watch the film together, then have a discussion about it whether that just be between us, or with a guest speaker who worked on the film. Okay, reading that back it does sound lame to anyone that doesn't love films. But to any fellow film lovers, this is the dream, right?! Access to free films seems pretty cool to me.
      One of the points of this film club (which, by the way is funded by the BFI thanks guys!) is to review the film after watching it, great news for me. But for everyone else who's idea of reviewing a film is worse than listening to U2's discography (sorry U2 fans), obviously aren't as keen as I am. Last night we watched Tim Burton's Ed Wood, so here goes.

Ed Wood
Directed by - Tim Burton
Year released - 1995
Starring - Johnny Depp (no surprises), Martin Landau, Sarah Jessica Parker

Ever wondered who the worst director of ALL TIME is? Nope, not Ruben Fleischer, not Len Wiseman, it's Edward. D. Wood Jnr. Never heard of him? No surprises there. A director in Hollywood in the 1950's trying to make it the same way Orson Welles did; with little to no funding. This almost true biopic follows the "rise" of the non-nonchalant Ed Wood, in it we are forced to watch the brutal making of his films 'Glen or Glenda', 'Bride of the Monster' and 'Plan 9 from Outer Space'. Wood tries to bring life back into retired, junkie actor Bela Lugosi (played by the fabulous Martin Landau), however it seems that Lugosi's Dracula days are over, along with his acting skills.
It was said that Tim Burton was weirdly obsessed with Ed Wood, obviously not the way Ed Wood directed as he claimed "It's not the tiny details that count, it's the big picture". I guess (from past experience) that's where Ed made his first major mistake. The film itself is funny, interesting and attention grabbing; especially for young directors and film students as I'm sure (like myself) they could relate with a lot of the film, walking away from the film then realizing their mistakes. I think what made this film a true, real feeling biopic is that although the film was made in 1994 (then released in 1995) it was all filmed/edited in black and white, true to the time period, it meant the actors could be more dramatic about everything; which made it even more hilarious.
'Ed Wood' is probably the most famous Edward. D. Wood Jnr will ever be, and he should be thanking Tim Burton for that (well, apart from the fact he'd been dead a good twenty years before the film was made). Burton's film has made me want to watch the atrocious films that Ed Wood had made, regardless of them being awfully made, all scenes taken in one shot.
There is one early twist within the film (spoiler alert, kind of). Ed Wood admits to potential backer of his first him 'Glen or Glenda' "I've never told anyone this but, I dress in woman's clothing." Meaning that at random points through the film we get the pleasure of seeing young Johnny in women's clothing, usually owned by his girlfriend Dolores Fuller (Sarah Jessica Parker) who is a hopeful young actress, a jealous wreck and in the end becomes the only person who is honest to Ed; telling him his films are awful (which is true).
If you are not a massive obsessive fan of Tim Burton, but like some of his other films (Beetlejuice, Corpse Bride, Edward Scissorhands) this is one you should add to his collection. Although not typically Burton, it is still very gothic with typical elements of his (Johnny Depp being one of them), skulls, hilariously morbid and family friendly.

Everything Everything - Arc
13 tracks.
Favourite track - Armourland
Favourite lyric - "I wanna take you home, take off your blindfold and show you what I am." - Armourland.

When Everything Everything released 'Man Alive' a hefty three years ago, I thought they couldn't do any better. Even now I listen to their album and still love every beautifully recorded second. Low and behold, when 'Arc' was released in January of this year I was skeptical, I hadn't really heard anything from it (like I said previously, I've been so out of touch with music lately, I deserve a slap on the wrist). Upon hearing 'Cough Cough' for the first time (yes, on the bus; yes, on the radio) I thought everyone had suddenly started coughing at the same time, I felt like I were back in year three where everyone coughing at the same time was "cool". As soon as John's vocals kicked in I knew exactly what I was listening to, my eyes started glistening right there on the bus and I just didn't give a damn.
     When I finally came around to buying the album (for some reason, pre-ordering it didn't cross my mind), I could tell straight away that they had access to better equipment and they were not going to put it to waste. I am so glad they didn't. If I'm being honest, I thought 'Arc' would be an improved, more expensively made version of 'Man Alive', but boy was I wrong! Opening with the more than familiar 'Cough Cough', then 'Kemosabe' coming straight after I knew I was in for a treat.
    Although all of the tracks sound completely different, they all seem to merge into one, I feel like I'm listening to a 48 minute long song, seriously. I feel "sinful" if I listen to just one track and skip the rest to the next track I like. To really enjoy this album you have to listen to the whole thing, start to finish.
    It seems there are no limits to the octave's that John's voice can reach, his voice goes up at least another octave throughout this album. There are so many layers to each song, everything time I listen to a track I notice something different, whether that be: even more metaphorical lyrics, a new synth, Vocoder, anything. I think to understand the meaning of this album you have to research about it; Kemosabe = Faithful Friend, for example, I bet now you'll listen to that song completely differently (I know I did!). They are experimenting but still keeping to their true, unique sound; which I will always respect bands for.
    'Arc' will finally give Everything Everything the true recognition they deserve, it will/has bring/bought them a whole new fame, along with it a new wave of fans. They will own the festivals this year and I won't be surprised if it's on the end of year lists (far away, I know!) for best album of the year.
Well done boys, you worked hard, you deserve this.

Tame Impala's 'Mind Mischief' video was released three days ago today, for some reason I've only discovered it today. I am completely out of touch with the internet at the moment as I am delving in to endless episodes of Dragons Den (not by choice) for a college project.
The video itself isn't far short of a masterpiece, I was in a complete trance when I watched it for the first time; nothing new when it comes to Tame Impala videos but the subtle (maybe not so subtle) use of cartoon nudity gave Tame Impala a new edge I didn't think they had. Impressive. I couldn't help, however, to compare it with the video: MGMT's Kids (from 5 minutes), which I am fine with. I understand that Tame Impala supported MGMT way back in 2008. Seems so long ago now, in five years they have gone from being one of the most underrated bands on earth to one of the biggest (within psychedelic rock, obviously). If you haven't heard Tame Impala (god help you), now is the best time to start listening. Can I please point out though, 'Lonerism' isn't their first album; their EP released in 2007 had the ingenious 'Half Glass Full Of Wine' on it. This isn't a biographical description of them, you have wikipedia for that. I'm just recommending that you don't just listen to their newest album. Don't get me wrong, 'Lonerism' is probably in my top five albums for last year, but so was 'Innerspeaker' in 2010 and 'Tame Impala' in 2007, etc etc.